Hello Springboards community! If you were following us last week, you’re probably here looking for either a well or poorly constructed pitch followed by some critiques and suggestions. Instead, we’d like to challenge you, our readers, to examine the following pitches and to decide on the intended audience.

1. Hi, I’m Richard Cheng. I’ve been working as a corporate communications specialist for the past 5 years. My undergrad studies focused primarily on business communication and led me into various roles within public relations (PR), journalism, and even teaching English abroad. Recently, I’ve been working more with the entrepreneurial community on a few pet projects which have been very successful. I know I can be an incredible asset to a start up PR firm looking to broaden their visibility locally and through various media.
2. Hi. John Roberts, VP of Sales with Kesure Inc. We deliver high-impact sales training to midsized companies highly dependent on successful sales teams. Kesure helped companies raise sales an average of 20% quarterly following training programs last year alone. Our training specializes in the proven methods of the Xerta system, pointing to direct returns on investment for our clients and setting us apart from other sales training providers.
3. VSC is a one-stop shop IT consulting firm focused on the growing sustainable and green energies sector. Shareholder and stock values in the green sector have seen steady to critical growth and now even more so than ever. Our clients are progressive and highly dependent upon a strong, secure and robust IT infrastructure to ensure the smoothest running of the business. VSC has seen a 400% growth rate in just 3 years of business and expects to add to payroll, even in a down economy. As president and founder, I have 30 years technical and managerial experience at Microsoft, Sun, and Oracle as well as a proven track record in fundraising activities for a self-started non-profit, “Green and Clean- an Urban Renewal Project.” I’m George Xiao, and the question is, if going green means going green financially, where are you in this opportunity?

One of our “pitchers” is selling:  (a) him or herself to recruiters or would-be employers;  (b) to venture capitalists (VCs) or potential financiers of the business;  (c) to potential clients or referral relationships. Let’s start with pitch 1.

Yes, Richard Cheng is pitching himself to (a) recruiters or would-be employers. Clearly, he is focusing on his personal experience and what he’s currently involved in as a professional in order to appeal to a well-matched suitor. One thing, and one very critical element, his pitch lacked was a hook or a call-to-action at the end. Thank you, Richard, for telling us about yourself—now what do you want us to do about it? Who are you trying to meet? Who’s the go-to person? Are you willing to end with a compelling question? “I’m Richard Cheng. Do you know of any one, your own company perhaps, who is looking for an accomplished business savvy PR guy with 5 plus years experience?” You have now forced the listener in a position to respond.

If you guessed that pitch 2 is well-matched with (c) potential clients, you are right. Then you are also correct that pitch 3 is to potential VC’s. There are actually many areas that need attention in both of these pitches. But blog territory has entered “too long.” So at the fear of not customizing our blog articles to be well-matched with our audience, i.e., busy international executives such as yourselves, we’re going to stop here. If you want to know why we think pitches 2 and 3 need help, you’ll have to stay tuned for the next post. This is, after all, such a relevant area for us all and in much need of continual refinement. Agreed?

Be part of the discussion! We welcome your comments.