Networking is a survival business communication skill no longer just for the MBA student, career professional, or entrepreneur. Anyone—artist, job seeking international, or mid career professional—who wants to have a meaningful conversation with an audience they care about, must bring a differentiated message, and do so often. Nina Gass of Marketing and PR explains how Paris Hilton, George Foreman, and Michael Jordan did this, but how you also can, and must, in order to stand out. This, friends, is smart networking.

Smart networking tells your audience that you are deliberate, proactive, and that you care about THEIR interests first. This is no different than many of our daily interactions (business or otherwise) with people in the world around us. Imagine showing up to your favorite Starbucks, the Starbucks where everyone knows your name (most importantly, your drink), and now contrast this to a Dunkin’ Donuts drive through experience where you may never have seen the person’s face. Which company are you likely to remember?

You are more likely to remember the experience, and therefore the company, where a human connection took place, and consequently an emotional experience was developed. The bigger question, then, for you is: how would you like your networking audience to remember you? As a Starbucks experience, or Dunkin’ Donuts?

If you sense you’re Dunkin’ Donuts, don’t panic! Many of us are, without even knowing it. Let’s look at some practical tips to keep it real, focused, and effective.

1.       Know yourself. This means you should have a purpose for why you are networking in the first place. It means having a differentiated message. Go back to the Nina Gass article we talked about. You can also learn more in our recent posts on networking and personal branding.

2.       Be likeable. Are your eyes darting around furiously, scanning the room for other more interesting prospects while you are talking to Joe Smith? Or are you giving this person your full attention? Is it possible you can give more than you can receive on this occasion? Be open to the happenstance nature of networking. We recommend you check out “Never Eat Alone”, by Keith Ferrazzi.

3.       Be prepared. Having a strategy in an organization is business 101—if you have business goals for yourself, why shouldn’t you have a strategy? As it applies to networking, this means you should do some research on who you will meet and try to learn their interests. After all, how can you contribute to a discussion if you do not know them, the challenges facing their company, what will be happening for their industry in the next few months, and so on. These points are all important as you try to stand out and explain why your skills and contributions have some real  benefit for their business.

Know yourself. Be likeable. Be prepared.

Above all else, if you can focus on your human side with others, you will have succeeded in creating an emotional connection that overshadows the worth of a successfully communicated value proposition. Anything short of this, and you may find that you are leaving people with a bad aftertaste. And this is the Dunkin Donuts style we are trying to move away from.

A note to internationals and English as a Second Language Speakers: You might find networking events  particularly difficult if you are new to your surroundings, or uncertain about the protocols governing networking. We have seen these tips help for first-timers:

1.       Shadow a friend, when going at it for the first time, especially someone good at networking. Have him or her introduce you to others.

2.       Learn the tricks of the trade. We have referenced two sources in this blog post alone. Our previous posts are full of steps to effective networking in addition to recommended texts and resources.

3.       Start small. By having conversations with a new person (someone at the laundromat, the office building security guard, the receptionist, your neighborhood mail delivery person), you will break down the walls of fear that accompany new conversations.

4.       Invest in personal development. If you find it is too difficult for you to attain these skills alone, and you must get adjusted soon for immediate career goals, enlist the professional help of a trainer or coach. Your return on investment will be worth every penny.

Whatever your profession or career level, smart networking is critical not only for cultural adjustment, but for your upward progression. And whatever your approach, don’t forget to be human!

When you think of networking do you imagine an intimidating room of successful business people who are effortlessly mingling?  Not a particularly inviting picture, is it?   That’s maybe why so many people shy away from formal networking events.

Cutting to the chase…

1. Don’t shy away from networking.  Risk taking is an essential part of career development, and when it comes to open networking, the risk is minimal.
2. If you have been at the firm long enough and see your career long-term, you will eventually have to network or be involved in this aspect of business development to some degree.
3. Keep your finger on the pulse.  There are a lot of networking events out there, but the more you stay tuned in, the more meaningfully you can stay top of mind to relevant audiences.

Recently I attended a workshop for international business students looking to enter the workforce.  During the discussion period, I was surprised that none of the people I spoke with had ever attended a formal networking event.   The most common response I got was a blank stare or an innocent shrug.  It seemed as though they were aware of the world of formal networking and had never even considered the possibility of entertaining it.

Formal networking can be uncomfortable, recapturing the feeling of the first appearance at a high school prom– standing around awkwardly hoping someone will notice you, or even make eye contact with you.   Who would ever choose to feel like that?

You Are Not Alone

For anyone who can relate, let me put you at ease.  I recently networked at an event held by  the Greater Boston Chambers of Commerce and found myself among a rather large group of regular attendees.  Despite being slightly nervous in those first few moments on the playground, I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly I became acclimated.  About half the people at the event were attending were also new to the Chambers and several were quick to admit feeling a little nervous.  It put me at ease to know I wasn’t the only one.

Even more surprising was the degree to which people were actually supportive of one another.    Whether a small business owner, or an employee of an established corporation, the behavior of the attendees seemed to support an atmosphere of collegiality and collaboration. People were generally supportive, even the more sales-leaning folk.

Don’t Do Long Winded Sales Pitches

Much to my relief and preconceived notions, I personally did not have to impress everyone with a long-winded sales pitch.  On the contrary, I found myself on a few occasions in a group where one person dominated the conversation with long lists of facts about their business.  In each case, I noticed the listeners displayed visible strain, discomfort, or boredom at the engagement. By far the more valuable encounters were much more natural.

Be Yourself

I found the easiest way to make contacts was by just being myself.  I had my introductory statement prepared, about who I was and what I did.  However, once I made that statement, it was natural conversation that led to the exchange of business cards.  Sometimes the conversation moved to a topic unrelated to business, and then when it came back around, we felt we knew each other a little better and could talk more openly about our goals.  In one encounter I even made a contact that was mutually beneficial: I recommended her service to a colleague and she expressed an interest in mine.

In case you’re wondering, there’s no lack of good websites and blogs on the topic. Here are just a few:

Help on overcoming Networking Nerves:

http://www.wiredsussex.com (pdf)

Guidance on Networking Dos and Don’ts:

http://hilary.com/career/networking2.html

If you’re looking to get your feet wet, here are a few local (Boston) places where you can stay up-to-date with networking event calendars:

http://www.boston.com

http://boston.bizjournals.com/boston/calendar/

http://www.bostonchamber.com/

http://www.searchboston.com/biz-cal.html

So for anyone who has never considered attending networking events, or for those who have considered it but have never actually done anything about it, some food for thought:  the worst that can happen is you go home without any contacts, which is the same as if you stayed home.  Finally, when you do venture out, be yourself.  Don’t let preconceived notions of networking alter your behavior.

Questions? Comments? Gripes? Be part of the discussion.